postmortem

jesustittyfuckingchrist.what limbo am i in? where did i find my idle and encompassing christ that invokes in me not a religion of love, but one of hatred, putrid fucking dissatisfaction? i'm lingering in a limbo of broken arms limbs legs, my senses are distorted, warped by in-numerous lies upon lies of six months of utter solitude, cien anos my ass, linger in this limbo of unrequited longing and you will realise that there is nothing beyond your shortsighted horizon of peppers, cardamon, and aniseed. wish i had the strength and courage to brew a curry strong enough to empty my bowls. remove the awful, all-infesting parasites with one spasm of disharmonious oblivion. why am i continuously lost in her maze-web, my black widow led me down the i-thought-it-was-a-rabbit-hole, she waited with her soft venom of countless chills, releasing me from my cautious frame, let me flow free, and then the pestle struck deep in our mortar of what i believed was love and now i am just spice in a life of malenky deceptions, the milk bar has run, oh, well terribly dry, my droogs and i gather our banter and our battlesticks of off colour jokes and rye and i will soak myself in butteredscotch aka whiskey to relieve the pain and cleanse myself of fetid, flesh-hungry worms. there will be butterflies still and i will once and for all have to fall through the ceiling gazing upon my love bathing in another man's love have my skull crush upon the not-yet-decided-upon tiles. let i come soon, so death will be no longer proud

my mentors, i thank garcia-günter-salman-burgess. the rest is rest and tomorrow i will cut the waves like butter to finally???? expand and exspend the love i had-have-willhave for her.